The phrase struggling teen is quite often one that we can't
define. Many parents feel that their own child may be having problems or might
be struggling in some aspects, but they hesitate to broach the subject with the
teen. Usually one or more indicating factors stand out that will finally cause
them to have a conversation with the teen about their outlook or their
problems.
Teens tend to be less than forthcoming with parents in many
cases. This is a case of wanting to be more independent and of building their
own small society of friends and learning to depend on themselves. That can be
a positive thing when it is not an out of control issue that prevents the teen
from coming to the parent with a problem that may be taking place.
How will you as a parent know if your teen is struggling in
some way? The term struggling teen typically brings with it some signs that you
as a parent can see and which will be warming signs that you may have a
problem.
Withdrawal and Isolation behavior is one such warning sign.
The teen who has aways been extroverted may become too self absorbed. They may
feel that they are alienated and are not able to speak to the parent about
problems or depression that they are suffering. They have doubts that they are
competent or are discouraged with the lack of support that they are receiving
at home. They feel they are not able to accomplish certain things or that they
are not able to deal with certain aspects of their life such as social
interaction. The teen will become increasingly more withdrawn, spending more
and more time away from family and may not respond to even the most friendly or
warm overtures from others.
Defiance toward all authority is another such symptom. All
teens will to some extent rebel against strict authority but to the extreme it
can be a real problem that may cause lifelong issues in their world. They
struggle to obey even the most simple rules and may be cheating on homework, on
class projects or get in trouble with the legal authorities as well. Teens who
have such issues even one time may continue to make poor choices and do need
help to sort out their problems before they become so deep that they cannot be
corrected.
Running away is another issue that will rear its head and
present to the parent that their child is dealing with problems that may be
more than they can handle alone. Running away can be the physical event, such
as leaving the home for a date or an activity and not returning when they
should. Running away means that the child is not happy there and is easy to
influence. In many cases, running away is running toward something, but also
away from a home life that may not offer the support and the help that they
need. Many children leave home every year and the outcome is not a positive
one.
If your child is becoming more withdrawn and not interacting
in family activities or does not receive a great deal of positive reinforcement
from one parent or the other, chances are good that you have a struggling teen.
The teen years are when most of their attachments are formed
and when children learn how to make lifelong commitments, how to form
friendships and how to cope with day to day stress. It is imperative that these
lessons are well learned and that problem behaviors which are entered into are
addressed.
If your child is becoming more and more withdrawn, more
rebellious and is having a difficult time forming lasting friendships, there is
a good chance that you need to have some kind of support help to modify the
behavior of the teen, as well as in some cases to modify and support the
parents in their own parenting skills.
Taking steps now to address problems that you and your teen
may be encountering could be the best thing that ever happens to your child.
